Worthy of a Laugh

First thing this morning the kids and I headed to the grocery store to pick up a few needed items. In front of us, and following a similar route through the aisles, just a random woman. She is in front of us again as we check out. I laugh to myself. I notice her crisp black slacks and wrinkle free button up shirt. I bet she doesn't even know what Spanx are let alone need them. She carries a matching handbag- no doubt chosen this morning to match her ensemble. The clacking of her pointed heels on the stores tile floor is the soothing oh so familiar sound of confidence. She is likely on her way to work. I bet she views herself as a busy woman. Pleased she fit her errand in before getting to work. She will cross it out of her day planner when she get to the office. In her cart, five or six items, ice cream, fruit, nothing for meal making. She probably eats all her weekend meals out with a significant other and at social get together, but only after she cleans her house Saturday morning -which takes all of thirty minutes.

I look at myself. My hair still wet from the shower. Cut off jeans and a t shirt, and flip flops that don't even match my clothing but were just the closest shoes to the door. I should have chosen shoes that could cover my horribly chipped toenail polish. In my cart (aside from two children) fruit, diapers, baby food, laundry soap, and an ingredient needed for tonight's dinner. I too am pleased that we made it to the store first thing in the morning, although I could easily fit the errand in anytime before two this afternoon. I don't even own a day planner anymore. My weekend plans include trying to get the lawn mowed... and maybe a nap. I am on a constant cycle of cleaning my house. I easily spend 90 minutes a day, but it still just meets my bare minimum standard for an appropriate looking household.

I don't usually compare myself to others- or at least I try not to. And of course I don't actual know this woman, but I think I once did. Standing near her this morning made me almost chuckle.... at myself. It is funny how much has changed in just three years. It seems like I barely left the work world. Now my feminine briefcase I use to pack for court is occasionally filled as a Sunday bag for little ones. No more important papers or case files, just left over fruit snacks and hand sanitizer. No in office ladders to climb, but we are clearly in no shortage of climbing around here.

I could compare the working me to the college me and likely find the same amount of what appear to be vast differences. Is it normal to change to much in so little time? Now that I have the life I always dreamed will the changing stop or at least slow down? In another three years will I run into a twenty something mother of two small children and have another laugh?

Of course there are things about this woman- or the woman I was three years ago, that I envy- but I am happy to accept sleepless nights because children are keeping me up than sleepless nights because I am stressed about work. I realize too that whatever I have lost in appearance or importance I have surely gained in heart. I am so grateful I could give up "Good Job" and getting things done, for " I love you mommy" and bed time stories.