A Very Long Two Days with a Sick Kate

I have been anxious to blog about the last few days.
Anxious because I want to document in a detailed way what was a new, hard and growing experience for our family. But anxious because I usually blog lighthearted, simple, funny things about our family. Fun memories with the kids. And it is a way to relive the moment with them. But I never want to relive this experience.

Sadly this exhausting weekend was all because of poop.
Who knew poop could cause so much trouble.
Kate has always had a little bit of a problem with her bowels, and keeping things moving but we have always been able to remedy the issue at our house. But when we had tried all or our treatments and recipes and the days kept passing we went to see our pediatrician. When his ideas failed and the days kept adding up ... to 12... we were sent to the ER at Primary Childrens Hospital.
None of us had slept the night before because we were doing some treatments for Kate. We were very tired. And before the doctor even made the final call for us to go to Salt Lake, I knew it was where we were headed. I had packed a little bag for us, and had Jake give both Kate a blessing, and myself. I was so anxious and sad.
Kate and been the happiest kid the whole day. Riding her bike she would yell "mom this is so much fun" every time she would pass me. She had drawn a sweet picture for me, I had taught her how to play tic tack toe. It was a very hard thing driving her up to the hospital. We played games on the way up, and she was so sweet and happy. I told her we were going to the doctors, and she didn't mind. But she had no idea. And it was hard because I knew I was lying to her... putting on my happy face and acting like it was going to be fun.

The ER was the worst part of our experience. Both Jake and I expected that Kate and I would go to the ER, and they would be able to resolve the issue and we would be home in a few hours. We were wrong. There was no wait, we got right it, but then we had to wait forever to see and be treated. Jake had a scout campout to get to, so he just packed Sam for the evening to come camping with the boys and figured we would be home soon and would come get him. In the ER we finally figured out how to get on the wireless. I had brought our computer because kate loves to play computer games, so that got us past a few hours. As well as the sandwich and Popsicles they gave her. We were waiting for two different residents to decide what to do. One was kind, but admitted to us it was his 1st day of rounds. UGGG. The other was clueless as well, suggesting solutions that we had tried 9 days ago. They didn't communicate with one another at all either. The tech we had was an older man with a beard, wearing barefoot shoes, and talking with a slovic accent. He claimed to have two little girls at home but this could not be the case as he was clueless as to what level a four year old can talk and answer questions. On top of that he kept picking hair and lint off my sweater and telling me and her about it. Thanks- but the last thing a mother in the ER with her child cares about is lint on her sweater..... creep. Kate remained spirited, and I even made a movie of her singing and being happy in the ER. What kind of kid is like her? She is amazing. Thankfully we had a wise nurse, and finally saw a real doctor. They attempted to irrigate he bowels, and took x-rays. But we didn't get anywhere.
The attempted treatment was of course painful for her, and her crying made me upset. In addition we had no way to call Jake or anyone because my phone didn't have coverage and their phones couldn't dial long distance. Kate and I slipped out of the hospital to make calls to Jake a few times. At this point the medical staff had informed me we would be staying for a few days, and that they were going to hook Kate up to an IV and a NG tube to deliver a stronger kind of medicine. I told Jake we needed him. I needed him.
Kate kept on asking when we could go home, and I kept on having to tell her we couldn't yet. And I knew it was about to get a lot worse.

Jake left his campout. Grateful to good friends and neighbors who could come stay with the boys camping, and provide breakfast when Jake drove off with it still in his car. He came home and grapped a few things, packed Sam a bag and took him to my sister in Lehi. Grateful to them who claimed they had nothing better to do for their weekend than watch Sam. Then jake came up to the hospital. It took forever for him to get there.

In the mean time the staff became quick, and instead of leaving us waiting to proceed with the next part of our journey, at least until Jake could help me hold Kate down, they got to us quickly.
The started with the IV, she freaked out. Then just went for the NG tube right after because is was clear there was no calming her down. This was the hardest two hours of the whole weekend. Kate trying to rip the iv and nose tube out, me having to hold her down, it being 10 at night and we had been up since 2. She kept begging, screaming, to take the things off of her. Yelling uncontrollably "take this off, I want to go home this minute, I never want to come her ever again, I hate you, It is hurty, i'm so scared" and anything else. She couldn't understand of course why we were there, and why she had to do all this. After all she didn't even feel sick, but was a happy kid. And I felt like I had taken that away. And she screamed for the next two or three hours. During this time, we had to make some calls to Jake and Amy, but were mostly in our room. Me trying everything to calm her down. Having nothing left. Having no success. We had been awake for almost 24 hours. No toy, talking, anything would stop the at the top of her lungs screaming. I kept telling her the plan. "Dad would come, we would get the medicine we need, her poop would come out, they would take the pokey things off and we would all go home" The nurses of course had no success getting her to stop screaming. After an hour or so, they focused on me. I looked horrible and exhausted and look like I am about to have a baby. Thinking that maybe if mom had anything left to give she would have an answer to help Kate, but I didn't. They did give me a dinner of shortbread cookies and ice... which gave me in combination with stress horrible heartburn. I think they started to worry I just might go into labor from the stress and exhaustion. I ended up letting Kate scream, sitting by her with the computer and started to watch a princess movie. Eventually she started making requests and the sobbing stopped, and turned into more of just a slow cry and sad face. Then I showed her how to make the bed move up and down with the buttons. I caught a glimpse of my Kate as she jokingly squished us in the bed. Though she was sure to tell me how the bed was "not cozy" she just wanted to go home so much.
Jake finally made it. When he walked in the door I saw him look at Kate, and saw his jaw clench. Jake's face rarely shows emotion. I know his face well. And I knew exactly what that rare jaw clench meant. That he was fighting back emotion, within seconds he had on his brave face and was talking to Kate in a happy voice. Kate was happy to see Dad too. She had had enough of me. Enough of me telling her it wouldn't hurt that bad, enough of telling her we couldn't go home just yet. Having Jake walk through the door a weight was immediately lifted. It is so exhausting putting on a brave face and trying to smile for Kate, when I was scared too and so sad for her. I was glad Jake was there to help me make decisions, and most of all help me comfort Kate, and comfort me. He is always our rock.
Most of all, I could leave the room for a minute. 7 hours of being with a very sad Kate was really hard. I left to the parking garage for ten minutes. I was suppose to help throw a baby shower for my sister in law the next morning. I had some of the things for it in the car Jake brought, so my other sister in law came by the hospital to pick it up, and pick up where I wasn't going to be able to help anymore. Grateful to sister in law, who not only did the shower by herself for me, but hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder, really cry for the 1st time that day, which I really needed. I could hide my very tired attempt at brave and not be just for a minute.
I wiped the tears and headed back. Kate had one more painful thing to do for the night that I knew she wouldn't be happy about and I had hoped they would do it while I was out and Jake could get her through. I walked in just as they finished... to more uncontrollable screaming.

We got Kate to watch a tinkerbelle movie on the computer, then she fell asleep playing with a camping little people set they had given her to play with. Thank goodness. Jake and I tried to get to sleep on the couch and chair in the room. Kate kept gagging on the tube and medicine worrying me and I couldn't sleep. I had to keep getting the nurse. I eventually ended up in her bed, because every time she would wake up she would try to pull the tube out of her nose. So I laid by her until the morning. Attempting to get 20 minutes of sleep here and there. Up worried and sad and scared for my little girl. Up because she wasn't sleeping soundly, Up because I am 8 months pregnant, and was attempting to sleep on a hospital bed with my daughter. I guess it would have been a sleepless night no matter what.

Kate woke up around 7:00. I had hoped she would sleep for a few more hours since she had been up after midnight and had a horrible day. But she woke up just like normal. And asked a few questions about when we could go home, when she could get the poky things off. We tried our best to explain. Thing seemed like they were going alright, but it looked like we were going to be there through Sunday. So I decided to head to Amy's to see and care for Sam for a minute, and grab us some things at the store. I headed down to Lehi in my car.
I cried and prayed out loud the whole way there. That Kate's medicine would work, that she wouldn't be so scared. It seemed like only a few minutes and I was there. When I pulled up, Sam didn't even care. He was having so much fun outside with Kaylee and Amy. He was happy and well cared for of course. I took him to the store with me. I let him pick out some clothes for him and Kate. Thomas and McQueen shirts for him, a princess nightgown and another dress for Kate. After all Kate was responding slowly to the medicine and it was looking like we would need a change of clothes. I also let him pick out a car toy, and I picked out a few toys for Kate, playdough and a puzzle, something to do sitting in the hospital bed. Sam asked after Kate, saying she had a "owie, a booboo" asking after Dad, telling me about his camping "digging, and fire" with Jake the night before. He made up a song too, like wheels on the bus, but about tractors. It did my heart so good to see my happy child. The child I knew still loved me, and was healthy. We played for a bit at Amy's, got some cereal, and then I took him to their guestroom to put him down for a nap. He feel asleep in a few minutes. I snuck upstairs and took a 30 second shower, grabbed a few things from Amy's house so make our stay more comfortable, and headed back to the hospital. Grateful Amy has a house I am comfortable in, and comfortable taking whatever I need from. They watched over Sam and he seemed clueless anything was out of the ordinary, other than asking for Kate. It was a strange torn feeling to have to choose which child to care for, and not be able to take care of them both at the same time. Jake and I both felt our family so spread out, both the night before and with Sam away.

Salt Lake never seemed so far away. Funny enough, I feel like this new baby was a part of this family experience as well. She felt what I was feeling, every time my heart would race from stress, my exhaustion, hunger from not eating much for two days. Grateful that our baby is not due for 6 or 7 more weeks, as had it been two I would have worried more about actually going into labor, or not having enough time to recover our family before heading to the hospital again.
Being in the hospital, even for two days, made us feel so out of the world. It was a out of the ordinary experience, without our phones working well and the days seemed so long.

I of course had been calling Jake every 45 minutes or so while I was gone for all of 3 hours. The medicine had not worked yet and all I wanted was for it to start working before I got back. It was scary to head back, thinking it might not work and she might have to have surgery to fix the obstruction in her bowel.

As I walked in the door they were taking Kate's vitals. Perhaps out of kindness the nurse told me her heart rate went up when she saw me out of excitement. I hoped so, I hoped Kate wouldn't hate me forever from the day before. Jake and I finally both made it in turn to the hospital cafeteria that afternoon for some thing to eat. It was the 1st real meal I had eaten in 24 hours and it was amazing. Jake felt the same about his meal. We wish we would have tried the cafeteria sooner.

Kate and Jake had had a good time. They built and painted a bird house, play tic tac toe, and watched more movies. Kate told me they had been on a walk. Jake informed me she really liked it, so we decided to go on another walk. Kate at this point was dealing really well with being hooked up to so many things, and talking about what was going on like she understood something. We headed out on a walk, pulling our IV and NG towers along. Kate told me which way to go, what was on the walls, and how when the tower started beeping that meant we had to go back. I saw Kate again. Our sweet, easy, happy girl. She had a lot of questions about Sam when I got back. Where he was and what he was doing. Who was taking care of him? and was Kaylee being nice to him? It showed me what an ultimate sister she was to want him to be alright when she should have only been thinking of her own self.

While we were on our walk the medicine started working. Grateful to nurses who are saints and came out of their unit to the fish tank we were looking at the clean her up and help us get back to our room. We got back to our room, and her bowels had started to work. Kate remembered that I had promised her some magic markers if she pooped...that was like 5 days ago. But I had brought them. We got them out and used them. They were the markers that look white but color on special paper. She tried them out, then told me "I didn't know there was real magic" Grateful to Jake who was willing to clean her up more than his fair share of the time. Stating he had missed the worst part of the experience, getting hooked up to everything. She started to poop every twenty minutes or so. Our nurses informed us that once the medicine started to clear the blockage from her bowels it would still be a day or so. It was around two o clock. We were happy about the progress, but a little sad we would have to tell Kate we would be sleeping at the hospital again. Soon she started to assume that, when I offered her some toy, or some new clothes, she wanted to save them for tomorrow. It made me sad that she wanted to go home, but somehow knew we were not going home for a while.

The next few hours went by fast. Kate was pooping. And playing with all kinds of new toys in the mean time. I think she really enjoyed all the one on one time. For this entire day she just sat up in bed with her table of things to do, with either Jake or I on the other side playing whatever she wanted. We tried to watch a movie- but couldn't really get the DVD player to work. She eventually feel asleep for an hour or two watching movies. Grateful for a wonderful nurse Leslie, who kept us hopeful, informed, stocked with good toys, and anything else that was needed, talked to us about what to expect, propped us our egos that we were great parents, and that we were very easy parents to deal with. She and every staff member we came in contact with told us how cute Kate was. That was likely because other than the few hours of screaming, she was in decent spirits, and asking questions and talking about things. The screaming the night before though- was of note, as all the nurses shift after shift knew about it.

It was about six at night, and we still had not seen the doctor for the day. The nurse gave us hope that when Kate woke up we would see the doctor and he might let us go home that night. Suddenly I had all the energy in the world. While Kate was sleeping I even started cleaning up our stuff, and calling Amy to see if she could bring us Sam.
Kate woke up, we saw the doctor, and had to get x-rays two times. Kate by this point was really getting to be herself. She was so excited about three stickers she had been given. We hadn't even told her yet for sure we would get to go home. But we did constantly tell her how proud we were of her, and how well she was doing, and how she was getting better. She told me "I"m a brave girl". Yup. Maybe she became even more herself because she could feel Jake and I were not just pretending to be happy anymore, and we actually were.

Kate got some new clothes on. Then it looked like we would be heading home, so we told her. She was anxious. She didn't want them to come and take the tube out because she thought it would hurt. She almost wanted to choose to stay and leave the thing in, because she was so scared of it hurting coming out. She was also worried about who was going to get Sam because he needed to come home too. The nurse came in and took out the IV and NG tube. She was scared and screaming, but calmed down in a few minutes. Then requested a spicy soda like Dads. It took them forever to get it for her and I was for the 1st time irritated with the RTA floor, because my daughter had not eaten anything or drunk anything for so long and I just wanted her to have whatever she wanted. She got it and was happy then, She wanted to be sure we had all her new toys and clothes packed in our bags.

Then we were free to go. It was strange. It was strange how fast we went from being told we wouldn't leave until Sunday or maybe Monday, to being told we were free to go late Saturday night. Or how quickly we went from being told we could go, to walking out the door. Literally they came in, said the last x-ray had come back good and we were free to go as soon as they took the tubes out. We went from hoping to leaving in 5 minutes. Amy and Jeff drove Sam to us at the hospital. We just waited outside for a few minutes for them, while Jake packed the car. They pulled up and both Kaylee and Sam came out. Kate had all kind of things to tell them, about her being sick. She was happy and ready to play with friends. Grateful again to Amy and Jeff, who gave Sam the weekend of his life with snowies, bike riding, trips to the park, and swimming, and then claimed he was super easy and awesome. We had two cars at the hospital. Kate picked to have Jake drive her and Sam home still a little unsure of me. So I took the other car home alone.

We arrived home. The kids were really ready for bed. We bathed them, set Kate up in her bed, and put Sam to bed. Kate said the prayer that night. And I guess she is not too traumatized, because instead of praying about her tummy, or not having to go to the hospital again or anything relevant to the trail of the past two days, she prayed "Bless kate, that I can learn Spanish good because I don't know how to speak it yet" We actually covered the whole upstairs in towels, thinking she would be up every few hours with an accident from Kate. I checked on them ten minutes later and they were both sound asleep. It felt so good and normal. Both of our children home and asleep in their beds.

It felt so good to be all together, all four of us together, at home.
I woke up at six thirty and couldn't believe we had all slept the whole night through.

We have spent the morning all together. Kate still has some getting better to do, put is doing really well. We've been spoiling the children with straight together time, letting Kate do whatever she wants. She wanted to play doctor this morning. She got her kit out. And told me I was the patient. She knows now how to really play. She used the bandaid to tape the pretend shot to my wrist- like and IV. She laid me in a chair then attempted to wheel it around, She got a pad of paper and a pen and asked me this question "what to you do at home" when i told her I was a mom, she wrote and M, when I told her I had two kids, she wrote a K and when I told her I like to garden she wrote a G. Just putting it in my chart. I had told that when I have babies I have to be in the hospital like her, and she keeps talking about it. She says she will come sit with me and bring me lots of prizes. She really is an amazing little girl. My love and appreciation for her has grown the last two days. He concern and care for each member of our family is superior to what I think is normal for a four year old. She has a great capacity for love.

It is crazy how much two days changed our family.
I really don't know how families with children who have severe health problems do it. When the prospect of being at Primary Childrens until even Monday came up, it was crushing. To think we would have to be away from Sam, or Kate or each other for that long, to try to care for the family all apart for that long, to try to explain to the sick child why they are stuck there. We are so grateful that our stay there was only two days. We are so grateful to be home. and that Kate's problem, though traumatic for her and us, was not something more serious. In fact in the world of reasons for being admitted to Primary Children's ours was one of the easiest... and still it was the hardest two days our little family has seen.
We all keep saying, lets never go back there again.
Now we are trying to fulfill all the promises me made to Kate while she was in the hospital. Really anything she asked for we would agree too, but then of course she remembers it. I believe I have promised her snowcones, a trip to the splash pad, and a water party with her friends this week.

Tender mercies I have immediately recognized.

The 1st is Kate's recent love of computer games. In the last week or two she has learned to navigate the computer and loves it. I brought the laptop, and Kate playing games got us through the ER wait. Sadly when they put her IV in she couldn't play anymore.

2nd, That we went to the splash pad last week with Amy and Kaylie. Historically Sam and Kaylie have a history of trying to eat one another, but they had fun together and the splash pad. It made them friendly and caring for him a little easier for Amy and Jeff.

3rd. People. People who could come when we needed them, picked up responsibilities we had when we couldn't pull through, watched Sam or offered to watch him, people who feed our dog, taught our church lessons today, sent texts and calls offering support. The hospital is a lonely, scary place with a kid, and people you can count on makes such a difference. Now that I know, I hope I can be a better help to others. Those eight of so people made our burden that much lighter. Thank you.