June 14, 2012

This is a post about how
Sometimes life is a fairytale.
And sometimes life is crap. (And that is a pun, I don't normally use that word)

These are pictures from last week.
My mom was in town and with it came the usual mounds of children spoiling. This is Storyland, a little park a few minutes from us. It has little houses of storybook characters, narratives, playgrounds, and a train to ride.  It was fun, and cute and a quick outing.  While mom was here it was a little like vacation.    We went out on little dates twice, the children got extra amounts of attention making them happier, and I had somebody to help with the cleaning.
She left.
And now we are back to real life.
Real life happened today when I took Kate to the G.I. specialist
I almost cancelled the appointment because I thought she was doing better
He did not agree and ordered x-rays and tells me I am most certainly wrong.
She is not doing better.
She is very literally full of crap. or so confirmed the x-rays.
And now has a  new heart murmur and she has to be put back on her medicine..
Sigh
I had worked so hard.  I thought she had improved.
I feel defeated.

I usually spare the blog for the most part the details of the children's  dramatic poop life.
But today I am feeling down
And tired of it.
Bluntly- if your kid has normal poop and you don't even think about it I am pretty envious.  You don't know how lucky you are.  And I am serious.
I would pay all the money I have to just have my kids have normal poop and normal tummies.
And who am I kidding- I basically am paying all the money I've got feeding them special food, paying for speicialists, and lab work and x-rays....
I have to think about my kids poop almost every hour.  How what ever they are eating might hurt their bowels.  How I need to make that appointment.  How I need to send that sample to the lab, give a kid their medicine... cancel that play date because we are going to stay home and wait for a kid to poop, because we need them to. I spend an hour or more every day- the little free time I have- reading about poop, researching in books and online, and in support forums.  We have a family calendar specifically dedicated to kids poop.
My husband and I joke that 1/3 of what we say to each other is kid poop related.  But sadly we are not joking.
I just wish today was a fairytale kind of day, instead of a crappy one.
But that is the way it is.

Last week we were having fun and I thought both Kate and Sam were doing better.
Today I found out that it was not so.
A nice vacation from the worry was good anyways I guess.
But back to real life.

silver linings
-Jake is awesome.   I mean it.   He worked while he babysat all day today so I didn't have to drag three kids around the hospital all day.  He makes me laugh, and somehow still finds me interesting even when all i talk to him about is kid poop. He sneaks away during work hours to come pretend life is easy at Storyland or the Cherry Auction or the zoo, or wherever I have determined we should go.    He is the king of everything.