June 18, 2012

Some quick picts as we shot out the door to Kate's first day of her new dance class.
My sister in law was kind enough to set us up with a great new dance program here and we are so pleased.  Kate loves that the dress code is not as strict as her old ballet class, but of course she still insisted I put her hair in a bun with a pink bow.  (That was required at her last class)  she picked out the bow my mom gave her, that happen to be mine as a little girl when I was in dance class.  Kate always remember.  Remembering is one of her best qualities after all.

I mentioned in the post before, tummy troubles seem to be crippling our little family this past week/month/year.
After an incredibly emotional weekend we are headed back to the docs tomorrow morning and I am hopeful.
After sneaking a costco hotdog for dinner, we recommitted to our crazy diet and spent the whole night together shopping for the right foods.

I know I always say this but it is so true to how I feel.
"I know it could be worse.  But that doesn't mean it still isn't hard"

I'm starting to joke that my sister Amy has become my suicide hotline.
We talk on the phone twice a day.
Sometimes until midnight when neither of our husbands are around.
She always just tells me she is sorry and makes me feel like I am doing my best. She tells me she is concerned about my kids too.

It seems most everywhere else I turn has ridiculous advice or seem to doubt what I am saying.
When the supposedly super great new specialist we saw last week handed me a paper about fiber full foods for Kate I think a part of my brain literally exploded. If one more person tells me "just don't give him juice" for Sam I think I will slap them. As if we didn't try that 3 years ago.    As if I wouldn't have discovered a simple answer like that seeing as how I only spend 4 hours a day pouring my soul into searching for some kind of answer or solution or piece to the puzzle. Then every ounce of energy I have administering new treatment plans I've created for the them.
I reached out to some mom's in Bakersfield (who had come all the way up to Fresno to see the doctor we saw last week)  to find they had a similar horrible experience.  And somehow that made me feel better.  and increased my hope a bit.

If anything I think the one piece I have figured out, is to go back to looking at Kate and Sam as two separate puzzles instead of one.

There is a lot more health stuff on my blog lately I know.   I find not that many people read it anymore anyway.  Blogs are so 2007 but i still like it. :)
 And I now am a big part of a mom's group for kids with similar problems to my kids.  I read their blogs and they read mine and we leafn a bit from one another. So sorry to my regular readers, but heck, you come here to read about my life and this is my life now so "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit"

These silly things sure get me down.
But my kids are amazing.
They are choice.
They rarely complain.

Sam continues to use "mama, or mommy" like a period in every sentence.  He has started writing letters and gets so excited when he writes a "C" for me or a "M" for Marianne.  He had his first swimming lesson today, and didn't cry too much.  He was brave and tried so hard to do his best. Letting a stranger teach him instead of trying to do it myself looks like the best decision I made this week.  Sam also is riding his bike a lot outside even though it is 104. He also insists on wearing his helmet even in the backyard.  He head is soaking in sweat when I take it off him.  But he wants to be safe.

Kate tried really hard at swim lessons too.  She is not so scared.  She loves being the best at everything. I try to explain to her what bragging is.  She is one of the best in the class, of course it is for 3 and 4 year olds, and I just put her in it so I didn't have to go to swim lessons two times a day or ask Jake to watch Marianne for hours on end..  She doesn't know that  the class is for toddlers only either.  She is obsessed with lalaloopsy this week.  Her interests seem to change every week.  Last week it was music, this week it is lalaloopsy.  She made her figures a bed at the side of hers.  When I checked on her I saw it, then snuck another figure I found in the hall into the bed.  I am sure she will be in wonder how it found its way to the best last night.  I can't wait to see what she says about it.

Marianne.  Marianne.  Marianne. She is joy.  The kids have been planning up her birthday "a sunshine, watermelon, pink, yellow, winnie the pooh, teddy bear picnic party"  they have proclaimed.  We shall see.  M was so proud of herself this afternoon as she stood holding on to our bed and then let go repeatedly.  She didn't fall down right away and thought she was standing on her own, but I don't think she observed as I did, that her belly was stuck out and kind of supporting her on the mattress.  She did it over and over and over and over.  So proud, not realizing she was actually not standing alone.  She giggled and giggled.  She is at the hard stage now where she is busy busy busy, refuses to let me feed her, and requires three baths a day because she is covered in food and dirt.  She makes an elephant sound now.  With her arm extended out like a trunk.  She saw a elephant on the tv and did it, she recognized it from a book we read I think where I do the same elephant- arm extended, spitting trumpet sound. When she did it the kids and I looked at each other and shouted "elephant Marianne"  and she did it again then giggled at herself so proud.  She also points and says "that" now.  I love this part.  The new things learned and proud happy baby stage.