Aug 27, 2012

Samuel and Kate started tumbling today.
Gymnastics I mean.  That is what they call it.  They became interested during the summer Olympics.  They couldn't stop rolling themselves off the couches and jumping off stuff.
I had been searching for something for a 3 year old boy to do for an activity.
He is too young for sports programs and not ready for preschool.
And so we found gymnastics.
The let me put Kate in the class as well so I don't have to come twice a day.  The class is for 3 and 4 year olds, so she is just a little too old.
The two of them loved it.
LOVED IT.
I enjoyed watching them too.
They were both so well behaved, listened to their teacher, tried their hardest and were kind to other children.
It was so fantastic.
I was nervous how Sam would do.  It was his first class type experience other than nursery- and nursery has been a nightmare.
But he did awesome.  Never even looked back for me, and was engaging with his teacher and other kids.
It worked out too since Kate got afternoon kindergarten.
Mondays at 10 we will be at Heber Handspringers.

Aug 24, 2012

My Maize finally has a tooth, and took three steps, all just five or six days after she turned one.  She is getting so smart and exploring the world.  She is always just playing with the kids like it is no big thing.

The kids and I stopped by a garage sale this morning.  They bought a play dough food resturant for $1.  We were home with it by around 9 am.  It is now 3:18 pm and they have only taken a break from it to go on a picnic lunch.  I'd say it was well worth $1.  They cook things up with the playdough machine and keep saying "mama mia"  I asked them why they keep saying that when they cook. They told me that is what the chef says on Little Mermaid.

August 19, 2012

I knew the trip would be a difficult one.  I have only made the trip from California to Utah without Jake twice, and I only had one child.  I geared up for the worst.
I can tell you in all honesty that if I had to compare a 18 hour road tip with my kids alone to giving birth to a child naturally- I pick giving birth.
When I said goodbye to Jake it felt very similar in fact to when I have in the past had a child.  I tell him "I can't do this, I don't want to do this, This is too hard" and he says "it will be fine"
We pushed all the kids seats up to the middle row so I could reach them and hand them things.  And after a miniture break down before we left (to which Jake responded "it will be fine"  doesn't he always say that) we were off.   I felt like we were off on our hard journey and we would see him on the other side.

I really was expecting the worst.  My hope for the trip was that we would arrive in under two days with everyone alive and preferable my car in one piece.
Which is why, with those low expectations, it really was not the nightmare it sounds.

We did somehow waste and hour just getting onto the freeway getting lost just getting gas in my own neighbourhood.

I did have to stop three times to help one of the kids before even getting on the free-way on ramp (this free-way on ramp is like 10 minutes from my house)

My baby did only nap for 25 minutes- the entire first day when I was counting on like 4 hours. And only 10 minutes the 2nd day.... yes there ended up being a 2nd day on the road.
My baby did decide that she no longer will accept bottles

A honesty to heavens bag lady attempted to kidnap my children at subway (really she was just starring at them where I had sat them in a booth while I ordered their meal at the counter)  I thought she was an employee from the back taking out the trash only to discover when I came to the booth she was a homeless woman with a bag of her belongings and no shoes on speaking with my kids.  This story is mostly funny because I said a simple prayer that as we stopped we might see somebody we know, that could just help me for five minutes.  That sounds like an insane request, but we have seen people we know a lot at stops on this drive.  An old ward member, a friend of a parent, I would have taken anything. But I got a bag lady, and a lot of stares, and no sympathy for a mother traveling alone with 3 small kids.

There was a car accident a few miles in front of us a bit after Barstow.  We went 3 miles and hour for about 2 hours. Until I followed a limo onto a frontage road.  And made my way around.  And saved us at least 2 hours.  Hey all Limo's are headed to Vegas right?

There was my peeing at an exit on the side of the road- in broad daylight, attempting to hide behind a tree.  We were in the middle of no where really so it is not as bad as it seems, near what could only be a meth house, because I didn't know how I would pee at a gas station or restaurant with all my kids.  I had thought this through, and did not drink anything to help the situation- but then what was suppose to take us 6 hours took us 10.

I talked to Jake. He was a few hours behind me. It sounded like his drive was going pretty horribly.  It involved a problem with the Rodeo and him laying in the dirt trying to fix it. And getting stuck for even longer behind that car accident.

Around Primm Sam started crying his tummy hurt.  Darn it.  I knew I shouldn't have given him a bite of chocolate.  or maybe it was the tomatoe sauce on his meatball sandwich- for some reason I hadn't thought of that when I ordered it.  I just you know wanted him to be happy on the drive.  The crying turned to screaming.  Actual screaming.   After about 30 minutes he was hysterical.  I pulled over after Vegas.  I let him get out and help me with the gas.  I convinced him to get back in the car.  He became hysterical again.  His tummy had never hurt like this before- to the point of screaming.  I thought we might need  a hospital.  Now Marianne was screaming too.  Only because she was starving and exhausted.
With Sam screaming he wanted to lay down in a bed, me upset knowing it was my fault his tummy hurt, and a baby crying, we just pulled over in Mesquite. Yes, The CasaBlanca looks up to my standards.


I went ahead and pulled into the valet.  I drug all three kids in, they had a room.  I didn't have anything for an overnight stay.  How unprepared for my usually prepared self.  I had the bell hop bring up M's pack and play.  I threw a handful of diapers in my purse.  We made it to the room.  Delighted.  Everyone was delighted to be free of the road.  Sam started feeling better.  We watched some cartoons and a Shark Tale.  Everyone was starving-  so I got us room service.  And hamburgers and chicken fingers were devoured by all.

I put on pandora lullabyes and finally had everyone asleep my around 11pm.  Actually.  I'm glad we stopped.  I did only get like 3 hours of sleep the night before as we cleaned and packed the house and a through the night drive I hadn't planned for seemed an impossible task.

Really stopping in Mesquite was the best decision I could have made.  The kids were loving it.  I mean cartoons and people bringing food to the room, plus the hotel looked like a jungle inside to them made them so excited they were jumping from bed to bed.  They didn't care that we didn't have toothbrushes, snacks, or even new underwear for the next day. Jake actually stopped for a minute on his way through, and saw us.  It had only been 12 hours, but it has been an eternity.  With him there I was able to run to the car and seek out a few more helpful items from the car.  Sadly thought I couldn't find our swimsuits.  I felt bad as the kids had been super troopers and they were in awe at the pool with the waterfall and I wanted to let them swim in the morning.  They settled for picking out fancy bread from Starbucks for breakfast and sitting by the pool and playing on the lawn.

Then we were on our way again.  Mesquite to Heber actually seemed like a long journey.  We made it to Fillmore without a stop.  Some miracle of miracles, the DVD player sound didn't go out once and we watched Backyardagains for hours on end.  Truth-  they have some pretty catchy songs.  In Filmore we got some chicken nuggets and found a park.  The kids were delighted again.  Maize and I sat in the shade watching birds, Kate and Sam played and were so good and happy. We made it from there to Heber.  It was almost 2pm.  Which means it took me 30 hours rather than the normal 12-13.  Of course we did sleep for around 6 hours of that in a hotel.

And it was an adventure.  A hard adventure.  But truthfully that.  Things were not perfect, but could have been a lot worse.  Jake had a lot of trouble in the truck alone too.  Instead of taking the expected 15 hours, it took him 20.  The kids were amazing.  Amazing.  Little M just started at the DVD player and sucked her thumb and blankie wide eyed.  She played peek a boo with the kids blankets, she read books to herself.  She basically sat for two days without naps in the car and was amazing.  Kate was my super helper.  She let M have her drinks and fed her treats, she never took a nap and was just awake and with me the whole time.  She colored and listened and did as I asked.  She got everyone excited about everything at the hotel.  And Sam was my brave boy.  He struggles more with transitions and stressful things. And his tummy hurt so much.  But he tried to be brave and good.  And was my brave boy sitting in back with a very hurt tummy and I couldn't hold him.  He has been such a great helper with the unloading of the truck.  If he notices Jake is not in the house, he asks if he is at the truck and then gets his shoes to help.  I  know I have choice kids.  But they were above and beyond their normal amazing self.

It has been a slow moving in, slower than last time.  We are still in boxes a full day later, and haven't found much of our stuff yet.  But the kids seem adjusted.

Today we went to our old ward.  "our new church" Sam kept saying- but I kept telling him but it is our old church.  Well it is confusing.  Sam was really nervous about going to his  class.  He kept asking if Marianne could come with him so he would have somebody to play with. He remembers I think the bad experience he had in our California ward nursery.  I told him I wouldn't leave him unless he had a friend.  And in about five minutes he had a friend, his old best friend right by his side.  When we picked him up from nursery he was the happiest I have seen him at church in 9 months. Kate did well too and was happy. And it was such a treat to see so many people we love.  And it was amazing to feel so surrounded by love.

Today would have been a great day being the first in weeks I have had more than 6 hours of sleep, a shower, clothing, and makeup for almost two weeks.  But getting to see so many people we love and feeling so at home for the first time in months was amazing.

August 12, 2012

I've been putting off this post.
It is a hard one to write.
There is a lot going on with our little family.  I guess I always think that. But really there is.

We had high hopes that California would be a great place for our little family.  So many people we love life here after all, and it is always warm enough to play outside.
But even in the short 9 months we've been here it has been made clear to us, that it is not all we had hoped.  And it is not right for us.
So we have decided to move back to Heber, Utah.
We will be staying with my parents for a while, while we find a home of our own.  We had made the decision to move back about a month ago.  We planned to  do it in December.  It seemed like too much to do before school started in two weeks.
Then we just decided it was right, and why put off what you think is right because it will be a lot of stress and work.
So we decided to move- literally 14 days later.  We will be leaving on Aug 17.

Jake and I joke that we had to break up with Heber, before we could decide to marry it.
I think that really is true.  Well not for me, but for him.  I'm very sad for my husband that all his California dreams did not come true.   He had dreams of his kids growing up like he did here in California.  But of course we weren't going to get a farm, and we didn't feel like we could live in rural Fresno because the schools are not as good/safe.  And as it turns out Clovis, is nothing like the growing up he remembered.  Not one ounce like it.  And he has not loved it.
I feel a lot of guilt that I have been unhappy a lot this year too.  And I know it is not because of the move, it has 100% everything to do with the stress of my kids being sick. But it has been hard separating the two things for sure.

California is expensive, about 1/3 more  than our old Heber life, by our calculations.  And when we make the same amount regardless of where we live it just seems silly to be stretched so thin just for a little sun.
California is complicated.  In many ways. Let me just give you an example of how getting Kate into kindergarten  in Clovis,  has been two trips to the school and three phone calls, and countless emails. Then a big fight when I didn't want her in the K-1 class but they didn't have money for another kindergarten that would only have 18 students in it. (they don't have the money how is that possible when property taxes are 400% higher than in Heber?)  Not to mention we feel like we can only live in certain neighborhoods so that she can go to a safe school.   Some mom's in my ward camp outside the schools the day before registration so they can be the first in line and get their kid into the right public elementary. This is not for private school- it is for public school - It is strange.  I tried to register Kate for school in Heber last week.  It took me one three minute phone call "oh sure honey you can register her in any elementary school you'd like".  I literally laughed out loud.  I feel like the same kind of thing happens  over and over again with doctors appointments, errands, health insurance, most everything just seems more complicated.  I guess I am not a big city girl.  I guess I'm suited for small town life.  Actually I know it.
Of course there are lots of reasons we could list for wanting to move again.
But really the only one that matters is that we think it is best for our family and we want what is best for our children..
It has been a confusing conclusion to come to, as we thought moving to California would be best for our family.  But in the end it just seems like a necessary detour for our family.
Good Bye to our temporary home.
We are excited about new things to come.
For now, we are as you can imagine trying to do all those moving things and pack and entire house of three children in just three days.
Surprisingly things have been falling perfectly into place and we feel very blessed.

I just pray that this moving stuff comes to an end soon.

August 11, 2012

Maize had a birthday.  And she was a bit drooly and cranky, not her usual self.  I suspect perhaps her first tooth is finally making its way through.  Yes she is one and still has no teeth.
She was mostly overwhelmed as the kids tried to help her and show her her presents.
Seeing as how she has more than she needs already, we got her just a few things and let Kate and Sam pick out whatever the liked for her.
Kate picked out a seahorse like hers.  Marianne loves Kate's and always stands at her crib when she is supposes to be taking a nap pointing "this" at it sitting on Kate's bed.  She went to bed with her own tonight.  I think it was a good choice
Sam picked something more practical.  Some new sippy cups.  I'm not sure why, but he was very excited about them for her and picked some colors he thought she would like
Jake and I got her a few books, a baby doll and an duck on a sting (since the only toy she really plays with is her lion on a string)  and a musical treasure chest.
She showed mostly frustration at present opening was mildly interested in one of the books, and then finally enjoyed something at the end when she got her treasure chest. She like the buttons and lights and sounds.
Later during the day she was very pleased with her gifts and kept bringing Jake and I one of her new books to read over and over again.  She played a lot with the seahorse and musical treasure box too.  The kids played with her all day with her new toys which was very sweet.

She was also more cheerful when we gave her her cake.  She was very intrigued by the candle and the fire.  When she was given the mini cake I made just for her she just picked the berries off and ate them so daintily.  Then she accidentally smashed her elbows into the cake.  I cut some cake off into pieces for her and then she ate that too, but only after almost all the berries where gone.  She got frosting all over her hands and arms and hair and thought it was funny to clap her sticky hands together.

I hope she had a happy day.  She has brought me so many happy days.  It was so clear how much we all love her most especially on her special day.

August 11, 2012

We celebrate Marianne's birthday this morning.
Just our little family of five.
And even thought it was just our little family, I had to make it as special as I could.  She is turning ONE after all.  And she is so special.

I originally thought I would throw her a Watermelon party.  I'm not sure why.  Because the older kids can eat watermellon.  Because she has a cute watermelon skirt. Because it is August.

Then I realized how silly that would be when if I wanted a party themed around a fruit, it should most surely be a Berry.

One of Marianne's nicknames is Mary Berry.
And her favorite food is a blueberry.  Seriously she eats more blueberries than I am sure is reasonable.  Strawberries are a close second too.
We had some jam in the fridge.  A smuckers jar with a purple gigham print top.
I thought it was cute.
And so I created a party from it.
And it was easy and adorable.  Usually I spend days planning my one year olds party.  We threw this together last night, when we decided that we would let her celebrate early on Saturday. (The old kids have been so anxious and asking every day)  I used some empty jam jars, some Christmas decor berries and a tablecloth I had in the cupboard.  Some berry colored ribbon we had in our craft supply and of course the printer.  We baked a cake, then decorated it with 4 cartons of berries.
We got her presents a few weeks ago and quickly wrapped them.
Then waited for her to wake from her morning nap.
You'll notice the invitation states that her birthday is Aug 16 at 5:00pm.  I just wanted to make her an invitation.  I didn't hand it out or anything, so it says that seeing as how I didn't have a day or time planned.

More party pictures- like 45 or my baby eating her mini cake I made for her to dive into, are coming soon.

August 10, 2012

We did M's pictures yesterday.  It was 7pm and still at least 100 degrees outside.  She is usually happy and easy to laugh, but last night she was out of character.  Her curiosity was ruling her.  And although her Dad and siblings were dancing and playing peek a boo to get her to laugh, she was interested in eating sticks and the sound an ice cream truck was making.

This perfect baby of mine will be one this coming week.
Say it is not so.
She is acting so grown up lately.  Playing with the kids, using a stool to walk around, learning new words, figuring things out like toys, and games, and brushing her own hair.
She is the sweetest thing.  She likes to cuddle with blankets, and pillows, and dolls and stuffed animals, and only sometimes her mother and father.  She likes a good game of chase and peek a boo.  She likes carrying toy animals around in her mouth.   She likes wearing necklaces, but not bows in her hair. She likes getting into whatever the kids are doing. She likes bouncing in her high chair to Baby Einstein Videos on Youtube.  She likes eating stuff off the floor most especially the kids coloring crayons.  And the dog. She sleeps like a pro.  From 7:30pm to 7:00 am every night.  And still takes at least one nap a day too, sometimes two.  She has a handful of words "Mama, Dada, Dog, a barking sound, Duck, Horse, Nigh Nigh, Baba,  Hello, Hi,  (ba)Nana, elephant sound, This, That, Those, What's This, Ice and Kate"  She is very curious and happy and active.
And beautiful.  Oh so beautiful.  She has lost a little of that chub we've loved to munch all year and is looking more like her big sister because of it every day.  Her hair once dark is now almost blonde.  Her birthmark across her forehead lightly remains.  Her eyes are large and dark blue and happy.
She likes to eat bananas and blueberries most of all.  And bottles.  And meat.
We call her Maize most the time, or Maze, Mary Berry, M, My Oso Soso, My beauty, Maize Baby. And Sam calls her Mary Baby all the time. Usually "Our Mary Baby" in a sing song voice
She is so loved.   By her parents, and Kate and Sam, her grandparents.  But most especially by me.  She has brought me so much joy.  I just want to hold her all the time and spy on her when she sleeps.  And hold her and kiss her some more. And wake her up so I can hold her.
She laughs and smiles and loves so easily.  She was smiling before she was 24 hours old.  And hasn't missed a day full of smiles since.  Except for church. She doesn't like church.  Because she has to be held and misses her so loved nap.
I have a lot of guilt that my baby is already one and I haven't spent the time I would have liked with her.  Of course we are together every day.  But not like the other two kids.  Between doctors appointments and just life with kids, M didn't get the sweet calm first year of life where I cuddled her and read her books for hours a day.  I wish I could have.  I wish we could have the year over to spend taking naps together and playing all day.  So it goes I guess.  And of course she has the love of her siblings to compensate some.
I can't believe it was a year ago.  A year ago that I was at the hospital having her being induced because she was almost a week late and refused to be born.  She was so small and came so fast. And I was crazy about her from the minute I saw her.
 To say she has been a perfect addition to our family does not nearly incompase how much I actually feel that way.

August 9, 2012

1.  Kate is ready for dance class.  She loves her new dance class.  She always sneaks a minute in front of my full length closet door mirror doing positions from class when she is naked out of the tub.  She is pretty good too.
2.  The kids picked out a glow sea horse for M for her birthday next week.  Kate has one and loves it and sleeps with it every night.  She also has a glow worm. Realizing that everyone had a glowing sleeping buddy Sam became very sad he did not have one.  So on to Amazon.com together we went to find a boy glowing buddy.  We found this glowing dog.  He tried to be patient until it was delivered.  He talked about it everyday.  "my green puppy with a glowing moon"  When it came he was over the moon about it.  He cuddles it and carries it around now.  He loves it just as much as the girls like the other ones.

August 1, 2012

Lest I ever forget.

Today I had Sam all alone running errands.  Maize was asleep at home with Dad listening and Kate was dancing.  It is such a treat to be one on one with my children, even if it is just running errands.
He was wonderful at reminding me what I wanted to get at the grocery store, carrying our list, and of course picking out other stuff we should buy.
When we were done I let him sneak a cookie out of what we had bought.
He was delighted.  He told me how we wanted to give one to Daddy and one to Kate when we saw them. And he did.  He started unpacking the groceries the minute they were in the house to find them.

We went to get Kate at dance, but we were earlier a bit.  So we went across the street.  It so happens that there are horses in the field across from dance, and we had just purchased carrots at the store.  How lucky for us.
We went over to feed them.  I told Sam he had to be careful so the horse did't think his finger was a carrot.  Then he refused to go near them.  But he happily watched and excitedly told me how yummy the horse thought they were, and observed he was still hungry.

Back across the street to wait.  And while we waited we talked.
Sam wants to be a worker now when he grows up.  He means a builder.  He wants to dig with tractors and use tools.  He tells me he is going to build me a "big house so pretty mama".
He tells me he is going to marry a lady named Sammy just like him.  Lucky for him and his vain love for his name, it actually does double as a girl name.

I tell him he can't grow up, because I will miss him too much.
"i will visit you mommy.  I will drive my tractor and put it in your garage mama"
"my tractor will have two seats mama, one for you and one for me" he tells me.

sounds pretty great Sammy.
Pretty great indeed.