Store Adventure

I went grocery shopping at the store today.  With all three kids.
I normally save that type of thing for when Kate is at school, or when I can sneak away after they are all put to bed.  But I've been using Kate's school time to take Sam to the doctors and for labs, and Jake has been working late every night.  It had been almost two weeks since I really went grocery shopping, though I had managed to grab a few things at the store somewhere in between.
It was getting slim pickins in the house.
I mean making prune puree to replace butter in muffins, pancakes for dinner, even the spagetti and rice is gone slim.
I just didn't want to take all the kids to the store.
It is a headache.
But not seeing any window of oppurtunity in the near future for which to go alone, or with less children,
and not wanting to raise my children on soft pretzels any longer...

Just getting to the store takes so much energy.
Where are you shoes?
Stop fighting about who like  popsicles  more!
Why don't you have pants on?
Get buckeled up. 
Get buckeld up!
GET BUCKELED UP!
and one fussy (is she teething) baby.

I pull in to the store.
I leave the kids in the car while I secure a cart from the parking lot and bring it to the car.  We won't make it in the store without somebody being pushed in it.
I enjoy the 45 seconds where I can't hear anybody.
I wipe down the cart as best I can.
Get unbuckled. 
Get unbuckled! 
GET UNBUCKLED!
I put M inside the main part of the cart in her car seat, Sam goes in the seat, and Kate has to walk.
Stop trying to tip the cart over Kate.
Stop putting your mouth on the cart Sam.
Stop trying to pull my pants down Kate
And we are in the store.

I bargin.
They are having a really bad day.
Sometimes they play together like angels.
Then the next they fight non stop.
Yesterday they played like angels, so you guess what kind of day it was today.
If you guys can listen and be good I will let you pick out popsicles
"our own kind of  popsicles ? because I don't like boy popsicles"
"I want spidermand  popsicles mama"
"I want purple".
"No I want red"
"No I want purple and yellow..."
whatever, yes, your own popcicles, just please let us get through this store.
I give Kate a job, the list holder.
I give Sam the job of making M smile.

The store is crazy.  It may be early in the morning but it is a Friday. 
We can't get through an aisle because people take too long reading the backs of pacakges, of can't decide what to get, or get distracted while standing there and start thinking about their upcoming vacation, or world peace, or something.....
I don't have that luxury.
A quick skim of the prices for what is cheaper, grab and dump in the cart.
It doesn't take much time to select each item off the shelf, it is really navigating the people.

 Some lady runs into my back with her cart. She doesn't apologize.  Is she trying to prode me along like cattle?
Kate keeps almost getting run over by people, or lost.
And believe what you want, of the tons of people in the store, not one other than my three was a child. Not that I saw.
Just adults treating grocery shopping like some kind of leisurely event.  Even shopping with their friends socializing.
I don't have that luxury either.
Grocery shopping isn't a social event, or leisurely for this mom.
It is a mission.  I even said that when I hurried around a man and he gave me a look.
I'm a Mom on a mission I say. Smile.

The bulk section is a winner.
I tell the kids they can pick out a reverence treat for Sunday.
They do, and with some negotiating I get them to pick the penny candy instead of the $7 a lb jelly beans they always want.

M starts crying.  We still have dairy and frozen foods to go, plus checkout. 
We are almost done.
We are almost done!
WE ARE ALMOST DONE!
M gets a tube of lip chap from my purse to teeth on.

Don't give M that plastic bag to eat Sam.
Stop trying to tip the cart over Kate.
Stop putting things in your mouth Sam.
Stop touching the cart Kate.
No we are not getting that.
No we are not getting that either.
Because. Because. Because.

And I'm over people looking at me.
I just know I'm not in Utah any more, their eyebrows raised, smirks and comments make that clear.
I don't even wear a wedding ring most of the time so I can imagine their ideas.
My kids are half in their pajamas still too, which adds to their judgement.
At the checkout an elderly grandma type is looking at me.
Is there sympathy here?
I jokingly say "remember when you had your hands this full" with a smile to try and smooth over the fact my kids are loud and climbing all over.
She replies "I would never have children so close"
of course not.
She seems worn out watching me.  Like she needs to sit down.
I want to make some comment about how it is awesome because I can kill two birds with one stone since grocery shopping is also my work out for the day.
But I don't think she will find it funny so I keep my mouth shut.

Of course we are at a bag your own type place.
I have to take the kids out of the cart now so the groceries can fit bagged.
I try to keep track of everyone while paying. I notice those two kinds of  popsicles cost me $7, they certainly didn't earn $7 worth of popsicle
I give the kids jobs. Kate pushes the button that forces the groceries down the line.
Sam puts things into bags.
I pay.
I stop the kids from squishing all the groceries as they bag them or attempt to.
Everything is in the cart.

We go to the car.
Stay close to me.
Stay close to me!
STAY CLOSE TO ME!
we make our way through the parking lot.
Into the car.
Instant demands.
"I'm hot. I'm hungery.  I want my popsicle.Turn on the heater (they mean air conditioning) I want to go swimming when we get home. Kate took my car. I'm thirsty. Sam hit me...".
and they aren't even buckled up yet.


Perhaps I should have just continued raising them on soft pretzels.
But where would be the adventure in that?

I joke with Jake about how when we were first married and I ran a small mental hospital.  And how I had no idea how well it was preparing me for motherhood.
Meeting the constant demands of multiple irrational people.

And I laugh.
There are still days when it isn't funny.
But today it is.